Putting the "Ted" in "Convicted."

I am a bit confused right now because apparently our beloved Uncle Ted is not convicted until his appeals process is complete.  By this definition everyone on Death Row is also innocent and should be relaxing at home- particularly if they have a home in a gorgeous little ski resort town.

I remember the election year 2004 in Girdwood when Party Dude happily came back from the polls exclaiming that he stood in line with Uncle Ted and realized his votes vetoed Ted's.  It was a proud moment in Democracy and we drank many beers to celebrate Party Dude's courageous and selfless act.

I must admit I have voted for Uncle T on numerous occasions because he fought for Alaska like a premenstrual wolverine, but now he has just gone Don Quixote on us and it is time to make way for other yet-to-be-convicted felons.  (please note that I do not mean to imply that Don Quixote ever profited illegally from his windmill attacks)

Incidentally November 18 is Ted's birthday as well as "Senator Ted Stevens Appreciation Day" (it really is) so celebrate by doing something illegal and don't worry about the consequences...

And finally, the song "Red Handed Sleight of Hand" by the band "Cursive."  Now here's where things get freaky- the lead singer's name is Ted Stevens and he was born on the 4th of July.  If he renames the band "Ted Stevens and the Unconvicted" I hearby take full credit and demand royalties... they will be substantial...