Flat Philip

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a tribe of paper people called the Flat Max's. It all began with some butcher paper, scissors and a 4 year-olds idea of companionship. You see, people need good friends and they need to be loved. We started out with a flat Max which led to a flat Philip which then led to flat Tiffany to keep him company. She got curly hair and a tattoo along the way, but it goes well with Philip's bloodshot eyes. These are the things you do to keep entertained when you're up in the Brooks Range, 250 miles from the nearest television, but with all the Maker's Mark, Gentlemen Jacks and quality friends a person could ever need. Good times...

Don't eat me

a poem by Emily Dickinson

The mushroom is the elf of plants,

At evening it is not;

At morning in a truffled hut

It stops upon a spot

As if it tarried always;

And yet its whole career

Is shorter than a snake's delay,

And fleeter than a tare.

'Tis vegetation's juggler,

The germ of alibi;

Doth like a bubble antedate,

And like a bubble hie.

I feel as if the grass were pleased

To have it intermit;

The surreptitious scion

Of summer's circumspect.

Had nature any outcast face,

Could she a son condemn,

Had nature an Iscariot,

That mushroom,--it is him.

What is the inferior attchement of the serratus posterior superior muscle?

I know you have all been dying to know the answer to this question. And guess what? I am going to tell you. It is the superior border of the 2nd to 4th ribs. Yes, I did have to look in my notes to answer that. There is so much to memorize, that nothing seems to be sticking. Needless to say, I am at school studying and needing a little momentary distraction. The blog is probably going to go downhill now that I spend so much time with my computer doing nerdy science stuff. I will be poluting you with uncreative, boring, science facts.

Mark, I know you are thinking of your factoid about the female brain ("That's science"). Just let it go, okay?

Girdwood Expatriates

We will continue to spam this blog and I hope all of my fellow Girdwood Expatriates will do the same. I just want to live the dream man!

Each night before bed we tell Clarity stories of Girdwood. We tell her about the mountains and the glaciers, we tell her about the yummy sweet potatoe fries and we tell her all about the superheros that live there. She wants to be your friend!

What not to say to your friendly, neighborhood barista

Working at my new job at the UAA Perk in the University Center, here are some of the more witty comments made by staff and students who frequent my little coffee kiosk. Like a bartender, inappropriate disclosure is only one of the many risks my chosen profession subjects me to.

1. I like my coffee like I like my woman; hot and black.

2. Hi, can I have a tall vanilla latte? ( I just said how are you, big mistake) My wife's cheating on me, she's taking the house, the kids and my life is over. Thanks, bye. Have a nice day! (I'm left needing closure!)

3. So, what do you think about suicide? (while I'm making his drink) I had a friend commit suicide and I just never saw it coming. I met Luke Wilson, (Owen Wilson's brother who supposedly tried to slit his wrists) and he seemed like a great guy, why would his brother want to kill himself? Thanks, bye!

What I've learned so far is it's best to ask a person how they are doing that morning, not how they are doing in general. Even just sticking to the present day events can bring on information that I could have done without, but I guess sometimes people just need to be heard and feel listened to. I can't think of anything I would rather be doing for $8.50/hour, plus tips of course. I am a psyc major after all so I could probably use all of this in my upcoming thesis.
Don't forget to tip your coffee girl!!