I have just woken up to snow spackled trees outside the window, and an unsettling memory in my head. Last night, I had dreamt that Extremely John had opened the world's largest indoor amusement park - built entirely on the theme of Home Improvement.
It was like stepping into a Lowe's but with large plumbing pipe roller coasters, shooting ranges with nail guns, and the ice cream parlour - where I was employed. Oh sure, I did a little freelance graphic design on the side, but who doesn't ?
The amusement park was also open 24 hours, in which my shift ended at 7 pm, but Jonathan Hughes' shift was just beginning. We spent a few moments exchanging notes and going over some charts, ice cream scooping has its technical side. Then I went off to clock out, and say goodbye - unfortunately, John was busy in a meeting with new recruits. Yes, about twenty new recruits in their fancy jumper outfits and shiny new white shoes all huddled around the man, feeding off his every word. John would toss his hair back in laughter, although it didnt have the same effect as the mane he once carried with masculine pride. I never did get a chance to say goodbye.
Dream ? or a not so far fetched reality ? either way, I am afraid to look under my bed.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Takahula
At least I think that is what this peak is called. This shot was taken midway through a 30 mile snowmachine ride back to Iniakuk Lake after a couple of days in Gates of the Artic.
The Brooks Range
Half of the Spring 2006 Brooks Range Expedition Team has reluctantly returned to southcentral Alaska. The other half of the team remains in the artic and stories of harried adventure are transmitted daily via satellite. For me, the trip was like a dream come true. Now that I am back in the bussle of it all down here, I wonder if i did dream the whole thing. A blood red full moon rising over the lake with pink and green northern lights dancing above it. Sparkling chest deep snow covering the whole world. Air so cold it literally takes your breath away. A warm cozy lodge with an endless supply of hot chocolate, tea, and brandy. Fresh smelling spruce trees just perfectly spaced for tele-turns. Nobody but us for miles and miles and miles. . . Maybe it was a dream. . .
Saturday, March 25, 2006
BIzarre Geologic Conundrums
Vicky and I hiked up the Crow Creek Gorge, and strongly encourage those who are able to do the same. We found bizarre geologic patterns mixed with ice, and lots of fun snow. Caves and ice falls ( a thirty footer ) can provide you with exploratory opportunities, or just a place to put your ice tool.
Here is a selection of photos from the hike.
Here is a selection of photos from the hike.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Fear and Loathing in Girdwood
.....breath slowing......vision fading......drifting along into the vast nothingness. Don't worry, it's just the demoral kicking in again. Hope that everyone is enjoying spring break, obviously I've had better. I finally woke up today with all my mental faculties (feeble as they are). Just wanted to tell everyone that I am accepting visitors as long as they carry beer or something good to eat. It will be hard to beat Dan's bunny (see picture), but I'm sure you'll think of something. Be safe in the snow!!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
The Scientific Process
In the name of science, Moses bravely stepped up to offer himself as a canine projectile - to answer the question , just how much new snow actually fell in Moose Meadows ?
Using the scientific process, we hypothesized that at least 36" of snow had accumulated. Then our process required us to hoist an object and measure just how deeply the impact would register in the new snowfall.
Final calculations led us to believe that the depth of new snow is equivelant to one complete dog and then plus some.
Unfortunately, our process was error filled, as the dog was initially carrying a snow cluster weight, which added to his velocity and increased the braking power of the powder.
Tomorrow we will coat him in a fine sheen of PAM cooking spray, and then hypothesize on whether he will clump up with snow before the other neighborhood dogs can lick him clean.
As a test group, I will also coat myself with PAM spray.
Using the scientific process, we hypothesized that at least 36" of snow had accumulated. Then our process required us to hoist an object and measure just how deeply the impact would register in the new snowfall.
Final calculations led us to believe that the depth of new snow is equivelant to one complete dog and then plus some.
Unfortunately, our process was error filled, as the dog was initially carrying a snow cluster weight, which added to his velocity and increased the braking power of the powder.
Tomorrow we will coat him in a fine sheen of PAM cooking spray, and then hypothesize on whether he will clump up with snow before the other neighborhood dogs can lick him clean.
As a test group, I will also coat myself with PAM spray.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Blowin' in the wind
Last week members of the Alyeska Pro Patrol put on a little demo of Kite Skiing. It was amazing...it was blustery. Afterwards P. Dude put on a little demo of post kite embibing in the parking lot. It was amazing...it was irritatingly blustery, and windy too.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
THIS COULD BE YOU!
What happens when it's 40 below and you are sitting on the North Slope with too much time on your hands??? Well, you're about to find out.
With the low alcohol content of several of today's beverages, sometimes you need a more efficient way to catch a buzz. I know you're thinking, "but Steve, I've tried just about everything on the market today and can't seem to find a consistent way to end up sleeping by the toilet!" Well, my extreme boredom is about to pay off, I proudly introduce you to the Octabong. It's another in a long line of products that I have come across and said to myself, "Why didn't I think of that?" I'm sure the inventors are living the high life of early retirement and caribbean beaches, all we can do is cry in our eight beers and then down the hatch!! Cheers to you my friends.
With the low alcohol content of several of today's beverages, sometimes you need a more efficient way to catch a buzz. I know you're thinking, "but Steve, I've tried just about everything on the market today and can't seem to find a consistent way to end up sleeping by the toilet!" Well, my extreme boredom is about to pay off, I proudly introduce you to the Octabong. It's another in a long line of products that I have come across and said to myself, "Why didn't I think of that?" I'm sure the inventors are living the high life of early retirement and caribbean beaches, all we can do is cry in our eight beers and then down the hatch!! Cheers to you my friends.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Nuclear Winter Hits Anchorage
A massive winter storm hit Anchorage Friday night shutting down power and transportation to the state's mightiest city. Citizens were forced to return to the old ways, commuting to work by dogteam and eating polish sausage from vendors in the downtown area."I never thought I'd see the day," said long-time Anchorage resident Ed "Squirly" Anderson. "I could barely see from the Pioneer Bar to the Gaslight on 4th Avenue, and that scared the hell out of me." Local authorities expect things to return to "normal" by Monday morning.
Friday, March 03, 2006
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